Just so you know

Still Running fairly decent, but just who in the hell does Caesars think they are? There comps suck. Really not sure why they would treat me that way.

Also the SUPER was indeed super last night with respect to the ping pong tournament. He has advanced to the TOC in Ireland on April 25th. I am gonna try to get up that way to support him. Oh, there is also this small little matter of a free Vegas trip for the winner of the ping pong TOC. That would be tremendous considering the trip coming up in October.

Still waiting on the call from the insurance company regarding the engineer's roof report. The fingers are crossed (does that help?).

Looks like a poker trip to HorseShoe for me on the 11th, and of course I'll be there the nights of May 6th and 7th for a work conference. Oh, JR Poker fest on April 18th at the Moose in Tell City. I had forgot about this when I spoke to Nate last week. I am supposed to have a ticket to this event. If anybody else in interested in playing (7-stud don't everybody jump at once) I can ask if any other tickets are available.

How Nail Polish started it all!

In the interests of full disclosure, I feel it is my responsibility to let you all know how it started. TGTT suggests I run good, so I think I need to quit denying that claim and let everyone in on a little secret. I started running good in 2002, and it really hasn't ended since then.

Let me set the scene. I purchased a home in Southern Indiana during the summer of 2001. I purchased the home from a family that owned a carpet business. So, suffice it say that the carpet/flooring in this joint was no less than top of the line. Ok, I'm probably like you, who gives a shit about top of the line carpet. Well, after I finish this post you'll know why it matters. The home is a very average 3 bed brick ranch, nothing special, but for me and my family I thought it was fantastic, but actually a bit on the expensive side at $129,000. So, after working out a deal with the owner on the down low, cutting out the realtor and the absurd 7% listing fee, we settled on a reasonable $113,000.

The family room had a plush aqua green carpet surrounded by parkay flooring around the permiter of the room. I like the carpet and the parkay flooring, but my wife not so much. Ok, I realize I'm not runnig great yet, but I'm getting there so be patient. One night my wife is sitting on the couch in the family room getting ready to paint her nails. She begins to actively tap the nail polish bottle into the palm of her hand which as I understand it is common practice to ensure that the nail polish is mixed well before application. Also, if you didn't know, nail polish bottles generally have a metal ball (bearing) that is commonly inserted into the bottle, which I can only think is for the purpose of helping to mix the nail polish during this pre-application ritual of popping the nail polish bottle into one's palm before application. I am really not sure how many times I heard the flesh of my wife's palm collide with the glass nail polish bottle before I realized we had a problem. Or was it? The nail polish had spewed everywhere after the bottle broke in my wife's plam. No significant cut or injury, other than the outrageously pink highlights my wife now dawned. The nail polish generously applied itself to the carpet, couch, my wife's hair, nightgown and expensive breatfeeding bra.

After ensuring that the rather minimal skin abrasion on my wife's hand was not life threatening, I was able to digest to the impact of this accident. The carpet was ruined, the couch was ruined (according to my wife--but I could still be using it today if necessary), my wife had a little paint in her hair but all in all not that big of deal.....until! My wife decides that


Is responsible for this incident. I was confused, I mean I didn't understand at all what that meant. My wife then suggests that she would be contacting Sally Hansen to inquire about them covering the expenses related to the damaged carpet, couch, etc. My response: OK. I still didn't even understand what this meant. How could the nail polish company be responsible for this? My wife then explained that it was a result of them selling a defective nail polish bottle. She further helped me understand that she had never had this happen before so someone was at fault and should pay. I paid it little attention, but she began taking pictures of the affected areas, along with bagging up the broken nail polish bottle. She contacted Sally Hansen and received a response. She was instructed to fill out a report and submit her estimates of the damage for the insurance company. What?????????? You are shitting me right? Nope, quite serious.

This is where I think it gets interesting. I go to the prior home owners' business and request an estimate for the carpet, a section of about 18 X18, and the estimate is for like $1,800. Are you kidding me, this is unreal, carpet doesn't really cost this much, but apparently they had the good stuff in their house. Then the estimate for the nursing bra, couch, nightgown, and hair products for removal of the paint from my wife's hair. So, we get it all together and submit a several thousand dollar claim to Sally Hansen. Again, I start to fall back into my previous line of thinking: This is unreal, nobody pays for this. Well, wrong I am. Sallie Hansen cuts a check for the full amount.

So, now you know 'How Nail Polish started it all!'

Harlem, and a Southern Breeze

I am writing this post as I vacation in Orange Beach, AL. I would like to say I have been sitting by the pool/ocean sucking down Corona but that really hasn't happened. At this point I have drank exactly two beers at the ocean on day one of the vacation. The weather has not exactly cooperated in that it has been extremely windy every day, and yesterday the clouds rolled in. The forecast suggests we are in for a few daws of rain (stalled front) with severe weather possible. That makes for a bad situation when most of the vacation is planned around beach time.

I did however play two rounds of gold, the first at Peninsula Golf Club. I am still a horrible golfer but I enjoy playing a really nice course every now and again, just to see how the other 3/4 live. It was very nice, cart GPS included which I think is top notch, although at $18 a six pack I didn't exactly pour them down. The second round of golf was at Lost Key and it was uber frustrating. Very tight course (doesn't fit my game real well) and more bunkers than quaker has oats. The ranger gave us instructions before teeing off being sure to mention that there were 'moccasins' on the course, so don't go hunting for balls in the wet areas. Weed was petrified and stated he didn't hear a word of the briefing after moccasin. We also went to Alligator Alley which was cool to see them feed the gators. My most enjoyable part of that trip was Weed getting as far away as possible from the snake exhibit, although he remained part of the show from outside the fence interacting more with the snake handler than the audience. Snake handler: Do you want to come in here and hold this snake? Weed: The only good snake is a dead snake!

My wife and kids have made it to the outlet mall in Foley to spend money. Does anyone know where she gets it? Because, honestly, I'm not sure at this point. The one thing I am sure of is that she never seems to slow down, so I guess she is doing OK. How can the economy really be a wreck if she is still on the loose shopping.

I intended to get this picture up sooner, so sorry for the delay. The family went to check out the Harlem GLobetrotters a few weeks ago, and my wife took some pictures. I think I may owe someone an apology, because if the Globetrotters are using it in their act, then its got to be top shelf:




OK, that's all I have for now. Enjoy the rest of spring break if you have one, and I'll try to keep dry. Oh, no Biloxi trip. I didn't intend to play golf two days, so in an attempt to not get a 'bad dad' monicher, I am going cancel that day trip. I'm really kind of sad about it because I really wanted to check out the rebuilt casinos. Oh well, probably saved money.

Idol, Big Changes, & the Pool

American Idol is back again with a ridiculous load of talent. I mean all of the people can sing, which is not always the case. Front runners Lil and Danny definitely have their hook, but I am thinking maybe a strong move my Allison or Matt might spice things up a little. I realize that most of you twits don't follow what has become an American pastime, but the bottom line is that Idol really does rock. So, before you comment about my persuasion let me invite you to perform oral pleasure on me, at least then you will be justified in your comments.

Now, on to more impacting/life changing happenings. Mundo has officially been kicked the hell out. Yes, you heard it here first, after a long relationship with Nate, they have officially broken up and Mike becomes banished ex. Here is the part that I don't get. Why does Mike have to leave immediately, why wouldn't he be able to stay until his apartment was open in just a couple of weeks. Seems like having the amount of history that their friendship does that Mike wouldn't just be tossed away and given curb service. Seems wrong, and I guess time will tell if their friendship outlasts the relationship that has moved in to take it's place. Now that I think about it maybe that's it, Nate didn't have a say so about Mike's eviction. That does make more sense now doesn't it. I also sure hope that he cleans those bathrooms before the boss sees them; that could be bad.

The next issue that requires a briefing is about the pool. You had to know I was gonna write about he pool! Well, it happened again. The cover has come off and all the leaves have fallen to the murky depths, and the only way to resolve this issue is to make like a polar bear (you know the cold blooded ones--I'm giving you the finger right now). This year particularly irritates me considering I went to great lengths to secure the pool cover, attaching filled milk gallon jugs to ensure the cover didn't slip. Of course the pool cover gods reign the fury of an ice storm down on me to tear the pool cover and provide access for the leaves and debris to cohabitate with what was crystal clear pool water just beneath that worthless pool cover. Yes, I understand I will be fighting hypothermia, frost bite, numbness, and many other medical conditions, but it is what I do. Don't worry, I will get medical attention if necessary, I'm NOT that TOUGH.

I'm headed down to Alabama in about a week. The annual spring break adventure is usually a struggle for me, but this year I'm looking forward to it. With all the doom and gloom with respect to the national economy and frustration regarding our foolish political system I think I am ready to get away and just veg out. Of course by vegging out I mean following he itinerary of my wife like an enlisted man, but just maybe I can get a little ME time. I plan to make a day trip over to Biloxi to check out the rebuilt casinos. I'm especially interested in checking out the Beau Rivage since I was so impressed by it before the hurricane hit. Are there any Harrah's properties over in that area? I need to know that because they probably have some hookers and blow waiting for me if so. Plans are still on for the October Vegas trip. Right now it looks like the wife and I will be staying at Harrah's in a premium room (granite counter tops/marble shower) because that is the way I roll. Not exactly sure why Harrah's is treating me this well, but who deserves it more than me, right?

I considered reviewing our Tunica trip, but the passage of time has faded its memory (or it could have been the Coronas). I had a blast as usual, and am looking forward to heading back that way in May. I believe the departure time is 10 AM May 21st from the homestead. I'm hoping we can get an increased interest in this trip and roll down there with a big crew. Anybody want to set a line on whether or not Nate goes? I am willing to give some action on this.

Damn, almost forgot. Kurt Warner is my favorite player in the NFL. And, how can you really root against a guy who has the BIG MAN on his side.

Peace OUT--You know who I am!

Excitement, the Log Ride, and Tensions mount

Seriously, its like 3 days and I am pumped about that. The downside is that I get incredibly unproductive right before our Tunica trip. So, I think I will keep my office days this week kind of short, since I won't really be getting anything done anyway. Considering today was a holiday, I think I should get in about 6 hours over the next two days.

A shout out to the Tough Man as his Steelers make it back to the Super Bowl. I like the Cardinals, getting 8 points of course. We'll see how much the Tough Man really believes in his Steelers.

There is no way I can get by without mentioning Natrocity's engagement. I suspect the appropriate response is congrats but since I am married and know the road he is headed down, its just hard to say. I am happy that he is happy, but that institution has claimed more victims than cancer. I also believe his quick engagement was for no other reason than to escape the intervention Mundo had planned for him during the drive down to Tunica. Also since Natrocity is an avid blog reader, I am sure that he read in my last post I was going to attempt to talk him out of the engagement and marriage. But, since Natrocity has pulled the plug on all my fun, I must roast him just a bit here. I had a text exchange with him that I believe says everything. Here is the transcipt of that text conversation:

Nate: I'm engaged
Eric: You still allowed to go to Tunica?
Nate: Yes sir i put that money away before I bought the ring
Eric: you obviously don't understand how it works now
Nate: Haha watcha mean
Eric: Its no longer up to you
Nate: Sure is she said I can go anytime
Nate: I will never miss Tunica

OK, so you can imagine how much I was rollin after the text. Poor fella just really doesn't know what he is walking into, but the same can be said for all of us who have went down the aisle. Best of luck!

I also have a cute little graph of a certain player's pokerstars stats:

I am no expert here, but I can relate it to a life experience. It reminds me of the log ride at Holiday World. I would like to point out that the last 75 games or so look to be break even poker, so maybe he has it turned around. However, I do remember going down the log ride more than once.

There is also a tremendous amount of excitement regarding the new Tunica tradition of eating a good steak dinner at Twain's

The best part of this is that the generous Tough Man, I think, is going to hook me up with a steak. That Tough Man is just a stand up fella, and I appreciate being able to have helped him out on numerous occasions in the past by putting him up in free rooms, and calling Shirley to get him comps. Now, I know what you might be thinking. A nice steak dinner (that isn't costing him a dime) is the least he could do, but that is plenty for me.

I hear that Super Mundus broke down and went to the doctor. Looks like I might have been right about an immediate medical intervention over a week ago when this little problem started. I am not here to point out my rightness, but just happy that he is gonna get cured and enjoy Tunica to the fullest. I have also heard it mentioned that Mike might be a good candidate for providing the entertainment at the bachelorette or bachelor party. The 'dancin machine' is the moniker given by my wife, we'll have to see if it sticks.

Well, that's about it for now. The bus leaves by 10:30 on Thursday mornin.

Lates, and don't forget to get your game on!

ARE YOU TOUGH ENOUGH?

Didn't mean to get anyone wet with these pictures, but I though they worked nicely.

Alright, so you are all aware I tend to get a little antsy just before a Tunica trip. This year is no different, as I am beginning to feel the flow. Since I have done a very poor job of recounting Tunica trips as well as blogging in general, I believe I should engage (kind of like James T. Kirk) a little time travel. Yes, you could have used flux capacitor here as well if you liked, but I am down with Captain Kirk because you know he was banging the black chick on the bridge. Yes Mike, I know her name is Uhura and I realize she was a Lieutenant.

Star Date: Oh who gives a shit, honestly I don't remember anything about the last trip. Or maybe I repressed it because I was disgusted about the speeding ticket on the way down, then the ass raping I took in the poker room at the hands of no other than Mrs. Estabrook. Having said all that, I still had a great time and I look forward to these trips almost like Christmas. There is just something therapeutic about SamsTown Hotel and Casino. And, for the record I am not a Trekkie and generally find real Trekkies to be rather weird.

Goals: Run good at SamsTown poker room; Play some Pai Gow; Play various table games; Roll some dice; Play a few games of KENO; Get drunk on Saturday night and stay up late and make someone else drive home--here's looking at you Nate!; convince Nate not to get engaged or married EVER; and help Mike understand how our country was built on the foundation of Christianity, and specifically how that disallows gay marriage.

I hope to see the following people in Tunica: Edwin, Sweet Meat, Sweet Shirley from Direct Mail, Dump Truck, Rebel Yell and Tiny Yell, Chevy, Bob, Bill, Sugar Pops, Big Country (but only for a little bit), angry guy who hated Adam's pink shirt, King, Elaine, Tanya, Brian, Dave (hey a guy can hope), Ray & George & Mary(dice table)(George called me driveshaft once); The Freckled Pup; Alberto; a midget; and a guy smoking in the poker room.

I hope not to see the following people in Tunica: anyone giving me a ticket, Vanilla Ice, wheelchair Bob, Emmer, Rick the dick, and the Georgia Peach. Kind of cool how there a lot fewer not sees than sees. Must mean I like people.

Now to the crown jewel. I have come across a little something that has me scratching my head. I just can't put my finger on it or make the connection but there is just something familiar to me about what you are about to see. Let me know if you have any ideas.

Keep going South....

Keep going....

Almost there

BAMMMMMMMM Play this fucking video immediately, then play it again and again and again. Then as you are saying, no fucking way, watch that motherfucker again.

Yep, I'm in the blogger POKER WAR

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This PokerStars tournament is a No Limit Texas Hold’em event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 544926

New nickname

It appears that my pal the Tough Man has a new nickname for me. It goes (insert my first name here) then say bad word that starts with an F and ends in -ing (insert my last name). Of course I am protecting myself by not throwing my name out for the world to see. Could you imagine the legions of readers that would look me up?

OK, so I take $500 out of the Moose tournament, which is actually held at the HHCC, win around $150 the night before playing bingo SNGs, and pocket another $100 the Saturday before in a short handed cash game. So, how much did the wife get, well only $200. That's right, I was able to keep most of my winnings, which is a nice bankroll builder, so I am pretty much set for Tunica in January. I'll also be able to turn over most of my Christmas money to the wifey to bolster the savings--you do know the economy is not so good right? Also, by now you should know we are rolling to SAMMY's place Jan. 29th through Feb. 1st, right? I called today and got booked for a poker room rate, in case we need the extra room. Mundus was nice enough to tell me the online B-connected system for Sam's Town is operational finally.

Good luck to all and to all a good night! See you in a bout 9 days, headed to Disney tomorrow.

Nothing a pair of scissors won't fix!

Ahhhhhh, today I really do have something to talk about. So I head to the doctor on Friday, not a bit concerned or nervous. Sure I was gonna get my man sack sliced open, but I was not anxious. This day has been coming for a couple years, so after not one but two cancellations due to my wife and father (I refuse to explain this part) I was getting snipped. The doctor was fabulous and I expect would be a good time outside the office. So the pre-snip consult went something like this..
Doctor: Kids, how old?
ME: 6 & 8
Doctor: What have you been using for birth control?
Wife: Pull and pray
Doctor: Get some condoms and have some fun!
Wife: Nope, I don't like the way they feel.

So, since my wife had already taken over the consult, the rest of this story should be no major surprise, but I hope entertaining. We head in the surgery room and the nurse starts getting me fixed up with surgical dressings etc. I compromise the surgical field by arranging my junk and the nurse lets me know that I can not do that. I oblige by removing my hand from the 'sterile field' but I think it only normal to feel yourself up one last time because you never know what might happen after your bag is opened up. So, during this time my wife is feeling nauseous, nope not because her husband is getting the knife, because she is just feeling bad. She actually was not in favor of the procedure and has been holding out for an oops child. Sorry honey, but that's not the way I handle my rig. Finally the doctor arrives (there is Mexican dance music playing in the background) and he proceeds to shoot my bag to numb it up. My wife then excuses herself to the adjoining bathroom off the surgical room. So a few minutes later she is selling Buicks, and the doctor is worried about her!! That's right, I said the doctor, who I might add is knuckle deep in my ball sack is hollering into the bathroom, "Are you OK honey?" Well, she was flat tossing her cookies! Long story short my wife steals my sympathy from all medical staff--what BS! Even though I don't really think I got the attention I deserved from the nurse (because my wife was sucking it all up) I decide that I am pumped because the procedure is over. The nurse applies gauze and a pad and puts my undies on me. So, you know it looks like I have a monster rod at this point, because I did tuck my shirt in. The nurse looks at my package protruding from my shorts in all its glory and says somewhat firmly, "untuck your shirt". I'm like no, I want to show this thing off. I mean really, I just got done going through a surgery, and I can't say that I really represented myself very well, considering my manhood was damn near invisible. Seriously, I'm not kidding, I was hung like a two year old--stage fright maybe? The nurse then quite boldly untucks my shirt and we walk out of the room, and I saunter past the nurses station feeling quite good about the bulge I am sporting. The nurse asks the doctor if there was any 'crazy juice' in the shots he gave me, and proceeds to tell him and the other nurses I wanted to show off my 'package' as I walked down the hall. The doctor loves it and gives me a high five (one of the real ones that actually stings your hand).

A sample must be collected in three months and sent to the lab for analysis. Apparently 30% test sperm free at that time, so I am hoping to get it in bad like normal and catch a three outter.

Facing Fears and MilkShake Anyone?

OK, I got back in the pool yesterday because I want the pool clean. However, I just can't get all the leaves out. Sorry fellas, I failed on this project. The pool will not be clean when you arrive. I still have to work on the office room, specifically the lights, clean up the van, finish spreading mulch, reseed areas of the back yard, and pack. This aint gonna happen before Friday.

I thought of blogging about all the possible events that could take place to upset our Tunica voyage. I shared that with Guitar Hero himself. But now I have thought better of that. So, in honor of Stroker, now the infamous Guitaor Hero--I present this tribute photo, enjoy.


Guitar Queero is the best named show of all time. This feels like an all time low, but with the grin on his face above, maybe its an all time high!

And then there is this cheap impersonation for a person:

WEll, I must apologize, it appears that there is documented proof that you have had a drink in your hand within the last decade or so. I bet you poured half of that one out. And, don't even try to blame it on your epilepsy either. On second thought, on the way to my house on Friday morning, pick up a gallon of milk, then if you have one of your spazz out fits then we can all have milkshakes on the way down to Tunica.

Peace and I'm Audi

Hypothermia--Mother's Day Boo Boo

Well, my weekend didn't go as planned. I had several items on my list to complete, and barely scratched the surface. I did get the garage cleaned, and for the first time in years, two vehicles have been parked inside the garage. That is cool. But how long can it really last?

I was able to power wash the patio, clean out part of the shed and finish planting. I finished mulching around the swimming pool and flower area. Those are all positives, but honestly, most of this work was completed on Friday, as I didn't make it in to work.

I woke at 5 AM on Saturday and helped my wife get ready for the day long Girl Scout adventure to Lincoln city. Some type of bi-centennial celebration. I was not extremely motivated early and ended up playing online poker for a couple of hours. I decided it was time to get in the pool and extract the leaves that were laying lifeless at the bottom of the pool, since my pool cover slipped off during the winter. I entered the pool, and to no one's surprise it was COLD! Now, I don't mind cold all that much because eventually your body adjusts and one can go about their business. Well, not this day. It was so cold I hurt, but never numbed out. But, since I am a man with a nutsack, I stayed in for 2.5 hours trying to get leaves and pine needles from the murky depths. I even took the steps out in order to clean them. I knew all along staying in the pool was a bad idea, but I just couldn't make myself get out. I mean, I was already wet and cold, why not just tough it out and be done with it. Well--no such luck. I'll be frank, I gave up. I just couldn't endure the cold any longer, as my feet were aching and teeth chattering.

The result of this stupendous maneuver was the rest of Saturday accomplishing nothing as I tried to get warm. Can you remember the last time you were bone cold? I finally climbed into bed with sweatpants, socks and long sleeved shirt. I fell asleep and 3 hours later awoke. I was finally warm, but not whole. I felt as if I had been beat up, or stayed out all night partying hard. I was useless the rest of the day. Totally useless.

Then on Sunday, 'Mother's Day', I made an error by not getting a card, and by not purchasing a bag/purse type item. I thought I had the whole bag/purse thing worked out, as I told her to go ahead and buy the bag/purse item, because it was clear she was leaving me hints. So, then on Mother's Day when there is no bag/purse type item she is 'girly' about it. I'm like, we talked about this and I told you just to buy it. I lose that argument obviously, and the evening I was punished emotionally. Short and abrasive tone, coupled with indignant eye rolling and forced conversation was the norm. Luckily this morning, she seemed to have slept it off, and I made the appropriate apologies. All is well again.

Oh, btw, I am thinking of getting back in that pool today. I never said I was smart!

Peace--and don't forget the Girl Scout Bus leaves at 9:15 AM on Friday. If you don't know the destination then you're not part of the crew.

Tunica--Scouts--Cabo--Adapter

I think it only appropriate for me to apologize to the legions of readers/fans whom I have had not had the opportunity to pleasure through this blog as of late. Truth is that I have just been too damn busy. Believe me, I have been just as frustrated as you. Writing is a cathartic exercise for me, and you can imagine how unbearable I must have been with all this pent up energy, emotion, and information. So, let the healing process begin.

In the distance I see a vision, no, not a mirage or delusion. My thirst is unquenchable as I struggle forward to what I believe is reality, what I hope is reality. During this journey I have become weary, but not because of desolate climate or rugged terrain. On this journey I have had to overcome time. That's right mother fuckahs--my ass is headed toward Mississippi in 8 days. I am stoked, pumped, amped, geeked, and most of all READY. Which brings me to a few subjects that I need to get off my chest.

#1 Tough Man is not getting a c-note from Dan--just forget it, and actually don't bring it up again. The issue is dead--lettago. And, that fucking car adapter is never going to work.
#2 Yes Nate, I know your sister is in Cabo--yes she got short changed, yes you have had to cover extra shifts. Listen Atlas, I think your gonna make it.
#3 Stroker--Guitar Hero? Are you fucking serious. Let me know when you make "Fag" level
Jesus, this is disgusting. Can't everyone just see Mundo sitting naked in the green chair, after waxing his mustache jamming out to some Smoke on the Water. So, what's the deal here Mike, you want to suck Jay Cutler off so hard that since he was on an episode of South Park featuring Guitar Hero that you can't help yourself. Nate, I bet if you check through his closet he has a collection of Cutler bobble heads, high school jersey (jock strap probably), science paper, etc.
#4 My favorite Scout hater--Mrs. Estabrook. It seems Adam Ant has got an axe to grind with yours truly. I have been accused of being not tough, smelling like cheap pussy, and driving a Girls Scout Bus. All scathing accusations indeed. Read retort below.

Dear Adam,

Hi Adam this is your pussy talking to you. I know that we don't talk that often but I feel in this instance that is is appropriate. I hurt, please sew me up!
Sincerely,
Adam's Pussy

Well, just as I thought. Adam's pussy hurts. Now this is understandable considering he drinks like a middle school female that is allergic to alcohol, and doesn't have to worry about losing money to gangbangers because its not his in the first place. It just hit me, Adam was kicked out of Girl Scouts and that is where all this anger is coming from. OK, here is another chance, let's recite it together.
http://www.gssgc.org/Forms/GlossaryofGirlScoutTerms.pdf (for you information ADAM)

Girl Scout Promise
On my honor I will try:
To serve God* and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

Girl Scout Law
I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong,
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Here are a few additions I thought it necessary to make:

I will also have more than 2 drinks

per day while in Tunica.

I will not be so retarded if that

is possible.

I will not blame others for my

poor poker play.

I accept that Eric and Tommy

have more knowledge about poker

in there ear lobe than I do in my entire body.

Another issue I wanted to address and I am sure you are dying to know about is, just how am I planning to cope with the eternity that will be the next 8 days. I have a long list, and feel confident that my time will be filled with productive activities.

1. Clean out pool--open for summer. This is more challenging than you think, considering it looks like Shrek's swamp right now.

2. Complete landscaping--plant plants--finish mulching.

3. Complete computer room. My latest addition to my house updating. We converted the girls play room into a home office/home work area. I actually am super proud of this. I need to do some spackling, sanding, painting, and cut out the backs of some book cases and complete the light installation.

4. I need to make sure my newly planted grass keeps growing. The wife actually planted it and it has just started to grow. I am glad it has been raining, because I am not good with watering.

5. Clean out van--make sure outlet is available for Tommy to plug in adapter-HAHAHAHAHAH

6. Clean out garage. This garage is in horrible shape, and it is embarassing.

I think that pretty much summarizes my plan to get through this weekend and the upcoming week. I will also work some, and play some. Well gotta go, I have a lot of stuff to do.

Peace out,

ME

I can't Help Myself

So, I was thinking and decided that I am a pretty creative guy. So after I had thought for a few moments I felt like I should share some of my talents. Now, I know that it may appear that I am picking on one certain person, but I assure you this is all in good fun, and totally focused on helping this individual get out of the poker funk that he is currently experiencing. And, the fact that Tunica is coming just get my juices flowin (not panties wet juices but the creative ones) and I feel like that I should share. I mean all my readers have stuck by me this long, I owe! So, here ya go. Enjoy!



Google rocks so hard. I had no idea how much information was available about Irish Dwarves.

Here's To You Little Guy

Well, I realize it has been some time since my last post, but I think just maybe you will forgive me after what you read next. As some of you may know, I have a bit of an interest in little people. Please afford me the opportunity to explain. I do not discriminate betwen midgets, elves, dwarves, or the occasional short friend that all of us have. I don't know what it is, I am just fascinated. I mean those little bastards are cuter than a freckled pup in a peppermint patch!!! Now realize this is not a fetish, but truly I am amazed. Those little guys surviving in a big person's world shows the kind of resilience and effort that most of us normal sized people could only imagine to posess.

Welll I could go on and on, so let's just get to my tribute. Here's to the little people, and the inventor of the step stool!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1282871605

REally, VEGAS!!!!!!!

OK, I think this needs to happen, so I want to offer some thoughts on the matter. Vegas is surely the destination of choice for touristy gambler. Although, after being seduced by Tunica, I find myself hesitant in regard to turning the cold shoulder on Sammy and heading West. But, after much deliberation, wise counsel, and considerable evaluation, I believe that a date should be made for VEGAS. Not only a date, but specifically, January of 2009. Why, because it works for me OK, and it gives me time to prepare on many fronts.

Here is my theory. Early January means free rooms a lot of places. Tough Man gets his vacation bonus. Mundo gets to look forward to something for the next 14 months. I get to work it out with the wifey poo and I have the Christmas built in bankroll builder. Bird man specifically uttered January 09, and it gives us so much time to recruit other trip participants.

So, what are the thoughts here? Is this copacetic? I would like to point out that I have offered this as a suggestion for comment, and have not just thrown out a date for you to like or lump, as has been the process by others in the past. In this Frotocracy there will be input by all.

TUNICA IS ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, now what do we have here, hmmmmmmmmm, that's right Sam's Town Tunica baby! I am starting to get jazzed up for this trip. Dates are now locked in for January 18th through 21st. That is a Friday through Monday for all of you who do not have a 2008 calendar in front of you. My task is as follows: Convince "Sweet" Shirley, the Queen of Direct Mail Offers to send out comp coupons that include weekend nights. Natrocity, being the high roller he is, already receives comps that include weekends, but the little guy (not directed at Tough Man) only gets coupons that include Sun. thru Thurs. And speaking of a small matter, Tough Man actually receives no coupons what so ever. Actually, yours truly, called down before our last trip in December and spoke with Shirley so Tough Man could get comped for a room and hooked up with a $25 table chip (which could have doubled as a frisbee for him) that I didn't even get. I would imagine that by the time I get done talking with Shirly this next time I will have no comps and Tough Man will be getting a free plane ride down. You know where nice guys finish.

Now, why is it that I am pumped? Well, first of all, there is no other reason needed then returning to the 'Slammer' but there is an added bonus on this trip. The WPT and WSOP circuit events will be happening in Tunica when we head down there. The main event for the WPTstarts on 1-21 and the main event for the WSOP starts on 1-19. The WPT event is hosted by the GoldStrike, and the WSOP is hosted over at the Grand. I don't know why I want to hang with the pros, but I just think that I do. I do have visions of some of the pros hitting the dice table and watching them win and lose ridiculous amounts of money. My line-up would be Phil Ivey, Sammy Farha, David Benyamine, Freddy Deeb, Gus Hansen, Mike Matusow, and Mickey Appleman. Hey, its my line-up go %$#& yourself.

So it looks like just 5 of us for Tunica, although you always have the possibles that probably won't go. Here is my list of possibles: Andy Schroeder, Byrd Howard, Chad Taylor, Lee Chesnut, and I have heard no rumors about Dan the Man Grimbstaff. You know I haven't really thought about it until now, but Dan is not a very big guy and I am just wondering if we could pit Dan the Man against Tommy the Tough Man in a small cage match. Now I know it would take some real engineering to reduce the scale of the cage (ring) but I think it could be done. Just a thought. I will have the van ready to go--and I am sure Tough Man will appreciate not having to ride in the back both ways on the trip. And, what time should we leave for Tunica--I recommend 10 AM on the 18th. I know this cuts in on some sleeping time for a few of the kids but hey, sacrifices can be made.

Oh well, that is it for now, just pumped and ready. According to my calculations we have exactly 94 days until Tunica--wow its longer than I thought. And, do you realize that we will only be going to Tunica one time in 2007!!!!! But, in order to soften that blow--we will be back in Tunica just 4 monts after our January 08 trip. SWEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Big Pot Poker and the impending Variance

OK, I haven't had a lot to say about my ongoing issue with the "Tough Man" regarding my considerable dislike of his "big pot" poker tendencies. So often I hear, the whole night is about 1 or 2 big hands. So, I get the phone call yesterday about his venture to El Caesar on Tuesday, and it starts out with the following: How'd it go? "You don't even want to know". Well, I must admit that I immediately thought that the Tough Man had a good night, because he has used that same line on me before. So, I am waiting for the big story about some big hands and call downs and how he made $700 blah blah blah. But, no, that is indeed not what I got.

The "Tough Man" apparently is at home in the Eastern poker culture, and finally outran the Karma that has been holding him down. The Tough Man crushes the game for almost $2000 and does it with J8. Well, I must say that I would have probably laid the hand down with the reraise on the flop, but he just doesn't have it in him if there is the slightest chance he thinks he is good. And well, UPS, or Ship IT was the result. So Power Poker got cute with KK and Tough Man wins a $2000 pot. I say, good for him.

And, because I am writing about a potentially certified "cash game killah" in the making, I will put up a few things he says I have been missing. First, Natrocity is an online beast at Stars. That's right, Nater the Dominator has deposited and nearly doubled his buy in playing sng's. The "Tough Man" has requested a comparison screen shot from Sharkscope and I have been hesitant to do so, since I have been pulling up the rear, but you know what, I got balls, and have no problems getting it into print right here. so here ya go! (This screen shot is actually at the top of this post as you well know) I must say that Super Mundus is really missing his calling--as he should be mega multi tabling with that ROI. And, for Natrocity, well, I am happy as hell for him, because I was not sure that his style was going to necessarily fair well on the internet. But, what in the hell do I really know.

Oh, I have also forgot to mention the Tough Man's recent tournament success online, but the only problem is that when he wins $1500 he only get to keep like $60 bucks. It is time for another big payday on line so he can cash out for a new truck, or so he can pay more child support. With the Tough Man's larger roll, does this now mean he is a 2/5er? Time will tell, but one thing has become clear. He definitely has his GAME ON!

Maybe I will go to Caesars next Wednesday for the free roll after all, especially if the games are soft enough for the White Asian to rape them.

Postive ROI & Profit--The End is Near

Oh what do we have here? Well, that must be some sic stats posted by none other than Frodaddy10. Finally after 2.5 years of grinding it out, the numbers prove I am not a four legged, hay eating, hee haw!

While this is vindication against all of those out there who have not respected me or my game, you must know there is a degree of personal satisfaction that I take from being a self-proclaimed internet retard, but still having been able to make a few bucks (like $5 according to the picture above). Now, the truth is that I earned several hundred from Party (please giggle about the fact that I call it earning money at Party when I actually broke even after dumping it on black jack--but earned at poker none-the-less) and have already cashed out for 3 $100.00 profit checks from Stars.

I think maybe I can playon this internet, but only in short periods. With my demanding wife and children, it is hard to find time to dedicate to a MTT, and honestly my attention wanes. I have also found myself doing poorly with regard to tilt. Not that I tilt off my remaining stack or play badly, but I just quit, and don't play for a few days. That is no way for a grinder to really approach the game. OK, where is the money at? The 6-max tables are definitely where I have found myself--I think I may even have to give up Omaha now.

With this house project looking like it is atleast headed in the direction of completion, I think late Fall and Winter will provide the opportunity for that big MTT score. Not "Tough Man" big, but just big enough to move me up the food chain to a higher level of SNG's and increase my earning potential to really put a dent in the Disney trip bill.

Looks like planning for the Moose Poker tournament is moving right along, and again the Title is up in the air, as yours truly will not be competing. Our boy Tough Man will be taking a shot in the Circuit event this month at Caesars, so best of luck in that endeavor. Yeah, I got a piece of him, and it really sucks for him that the new tax law requires the casino to slice 25% of any prize over $5000 out for the tax man before you leave the casino. I guess some of the "pros" haven't done so well at itemizing their winnings--and with poker considered a game of chance--it shall be taxed and taxed some more!

And, if you are wondering, I am still pissed at the bald prick who asked to see my hand at "Ass"tar the other night. I wonder if there is any possible way that guy got hit by a bus walking out of the casino? But, I guess the police would have already questioned me if that was the case!

Perma "Tilt" & Apologies

may possibly the worst casino on the planet. And, when I say worst I am not being specific. Customer service, gambling enjoyment, physical environment, etc.

I recently persuaded my poker playing friends to head down to the commode that is Aztar, and boy am I embarrassed. You know the place just really sux, and the fact that it is only a few miles from the house is disgusting. I think at this point, I can't really ever go back there to gamble. Now, I have left myself an opening here for the following acceptable reasons to go back to Casino "Ass"tar: date night so the wife can play some slots, and to only play poker if for some reason I don't have the time to drive to Frenchy or Caesars. I also commit to never persuading, coercing, or blackmailing anyone to go to Aztar when there is another perfectly good Casino operating within 100 miles. OK, I have done it, there ya go. And, I am sorry to everyone (Mike & Tough Man) who had to experience that disgusting attempt at a gambling experience.

You may be asking, is Frodaddy mad because he had a shitty dice session, well yeah, but that really isn't even the crux of the real issues. This incredibly poorly run, tight ass boat is actually on its way to extinction. I believe that Casino Aztar is possibly going to be the only Riverboat that may actually shut down. Yep, you heard it here first, this place is truly disgusting. And, not only is it not nice, but the management and treatment of the recreational gambler is just horrendous. Asking for a comp is comparable to standing in front of a firing squad. I mean they have brainwashed people to not even ask. If Owensboro could just legalize gambling and put in a decent boat, Aztar would sink immediately. The poker room is a joke, because they actually have plenty of players, but the idiots won't run a game that every poker player wants to play. And, I haven't even told ya about the deli pizza--don't get the sausage unless you enjoy super spicy food. I mean, it took 3 milks to get it down, and yes I did just say milk, because the Deli soda machine was broken, imagine that (dump).

The poker room refuses to use mostly white chips in the 3/6 game--which is stupid as hell. No 1/2 NL which is about the dumbest shit I have ever heard, and the room needs a partition separating it from the slot machines. I mean there are plenty of people wanting to play and so many long lists. Why are the management staff not more prepared to have dealers in the poker room. Not uncommon for 10-15 person waits, and seats sitting open for 30-45 minutes. And, generally, the dealers are not fun. I mean a few are bad, but most are atleast decent from a mechanical perspective, but they are not fun at all. They should all be sent to Sam's Town in Tunica and retrained properly. I mean this is just a total joke. This boat really is doing everything it possibly can to kill business.

OK, let's talk craps for a second. The friggin dice tables at Aztar are not 'regulation' in my opinion. That's right, and I stand by it, the dice tables are short and that truly changes the cube experience. I actually hate Aztar for making me not like dice Saturday night. I am now over it and like dice again.

And, on a personal note, I believe that this dumb F%$*ing rule of asking to see another player's cards when your not in the hand has got to be stricken from the books. Ok, let me lay it out for ya. This semi-old dude who takes to long to make decisions at a 3/6 table and thinks he is much better than he really is slow rolls right after he sits down, then I am kind of on a tear, beating him to death at poker, and finally it happens! He asks to see my hand when not involved in the hand. And, he said it more than one time, as if demanding, and I so badly did not want to show my hand to this prick of a person. I ask the usual question, "so you thought I was cheating?" "Nope, it is my right" so I actually am volcanic at this point. Let me remind you that this is exactly what ruined my last Tunica trip. I mean, for whatever reason, this specific issue gets so far under my skin that I want to destroy something or someone. I actually may need therapy. So, long story short I go off a little on bald stupid prick guy and he leaves about 10 minutes later. I think in the future that I am calling the floor, and making the floor ask the person if he wants to see on the grounds of collusion, and then when the guy says no I can really go off. Somehow this rule must be changed before I commit homicide in a poker room.

I woke up very angry about the Aztar experience on Sunday before heading to Holiday World, and to be honest I am still alittle upset, but it is fading. I am taking off a minimum of one month from any casino (except maybe the Caesars free roll) gambling, and maybe longer. I just really have been left with a bad taste in my mouth from this past Saturday. I will be focusing on the house and yard, and hopefully I can get back to grinding on the internet a little more. Remember, Disney, 2008 will be here before you know it.

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